One of the most difficult parts of a relationship is knowing what kinds of gifts are appropriate during certain levels of the relationship. For example, you are not going to buy intimate apparel for a woman you have only begun dating because it may send her signals she is not ready to see or hear. On the same note it impersonal to buy a gift card for someone you have been seeing for quite some time. You have to base the gift you choose based upon where you are within the relationship.

The key to knowing the appropriate gift to buy someone you are seeing is time—in other words, the longer you are involved, the more likely you are to know what to buy. The longer you date, the more informed you will become concerning the type of things someone likes. Some people, for example, do not like others choosing their clothing no matter what it is, and if you know that, do not buy your dating partner a sweater or pair of jeans even if you have been dating for a year. Likewise, do not buy chocolates for someone who is dieting or flowers for someone who is allergic to flowers.

For women, perfume and jewelry are usually always appropriate selections. There may be occasions where a woman will prefer certain fragrances, but you should become aware of this early in the relationship. For men aftershave and cologne are good choices early in the relationship. Certainly both CDs and DVDs are always appropriate and though appreciated, lack the intimacy of gifts one can choose when the relationship is at a greater depth. If you pay attention, you will find it very easy to choose a gift that is not going to send the wrong signals while you are building a relationship.

When choosing a gift for Christmas or a birthday, it’s certainly easy enough to simply ask for suggestions, but if you want to give something for no reason, you will have to look for signs. You may have to watch things such as the following:

• The kind of music your partner likes
• The jewelry he or she likes to wear
• Is there a certain kind of candy or flowers he or she seems to prefer
• What fragrance does he or she use?
• What kind of movies does he or she like? Is there a particular movie that has been mentioned as missing from the collection?

It is quite easy to choose a gift even early in a relationship if you allow yourself to pay attention to the other person. You have to know when the relationship has reached the point where more intimate gifts are appropriate or you may cause discomfort for your partner. For example, do not buy under garments unless you are sharing a bed and only if it is acceptable to your partner—some women, for example, do not like men buying them undergarments under any circumstances. Choosing gifts that are too personal too early in the relationship can destroy it before it begins.